May 5th, 2011 by Wanda Draper
If you’re heading for a romantic first date, chances are you’re a bit nervous. Take a deep breath. Being informed and planning ahead are the masculine man’s best defenses against first date jitters.
Necessity of a good plan
Choosing a good place to eat has a great influence on the overall result of the first date. It’s not just about the color of the table cloths. It’s also important to know what food they serve there, how is the service and what’s that neighborhood like. During the decision making, it’s good to have a few options available, in case one of them becomes inaccessible and you could also consider asking her about what she feels like doing. Maybe she has something in particular in mind, so if you want to make her like you, you should consider her preferences too. Although most women like to be surprised by their male counterparts and don’t like getting involved in the choosing and deciding.
In choosing the first date location, keep in mind that you should both be able to do what you like or enjoy the place you choose. There are many first date tips and ideas you can easily find in your Sunday newspaper, but the Internet is an inexhaustible source of all that. Check the arts section and see if there is any gallery opening or exhibitions during the day. Remember that she must be properly entertained, otherwise your whole date will go to pieces. If you’re not into arts, consider museums or cinemas as a good starting point.
Women love to be taken by surprise and like to do strange things they’ve never tried before- as long as they remain in their comfort zones. Don’t take her to the zoo if you know she’s afraid of lions and don’t take her rock climbing if she doesn’t know to put her track shoes on. Stay in a more neutral zone, pick up fun and exciting activities that don’t require too much of your energy or attention, otherwise she’ll be nervous and uncomfortable.
Since conversation is such a huge part of the date, stay away from a movie or concert, unless that’s only 50% of the date. You want the chance to talk to her and you won’t be able to talk through the movie or scream over heart pounding music!
Choosing the perfect restaurant
Choosing the right setting for your game is like walking a tightrope. It’s a balancing act, tipping too far in one direction can be disastrous. You might think that you should go with something super fancy - wrong! Super fancy will freak her out. It will seem like you are trying too hard to impress her, have an ulterior motive, or compensating for some obvious flaw in your personality. Skip those places with over-attentive waiters and $$$$ plates - unless you have a very, very good reason for it. When picking the right restaurant - it’s not about the money, it’s about the experience. She’s dating you, not the restaurant.
On the other side, cheap isn’t the way to go wither. Avoid chain restaurants that have no personality and go for a neat-looking cozy place, so that your partner feels you put a lot of thought into choosing the place so that the date goes perfectly. Surely there is a hip and trendy restaurant in your town, where you can enjoy a nice meal and feel comfortable also, without paying half your salary for two courses. If you don’t know any good restaurants, pick out a new one that matches the description. Read reviews about it or access their website before making reservations, so that you don’t have any nasty surprises when you get there and when the bill arrives. Also, don’t engage in culinary experiments the first time you get there, because your date might be going on the drain because of your weak stomach.
Stay away from noisy restaurants or sport bars, where you won’t be able to engage in any conversation. Check the Internet reviews for the place you’re planning to go to. Many people have the same problem and they usually report it during their reviews, letting others know what places should be avoided on a first date.
While you wait for the table, you can drink something at the bar and start a nice conversation. Or you can go the other way around, have dinner in a quiet place and head for a noisier, more trendy place where you can dance and have fun. Whatever is your option, make sure to let her know, as she would need to dress in strict accordance with the place she’s going to. Beside the fact that she has to look good, she also has to feel good about the way she looks like and everybody knows how particular women are about their outfit matching the place and event they’re at.
Well, actually, there is - and that brings us to how you prep yourself for the date.
First impression
It is very important that you dress correctly and you match your date’s elegancy. It is important for her to see that you gave sufficient thought to the way you’ll look for the date. A good outfit for a perfect first date must be washed, ironed, neat-looking and properly matched with the socks and tie. Check yourself in the mirror from head to toe and spot any flaw if you don’t want your date to spot them. If you just bought a new suit and plan to wear it on the date, be sure to have all tags removed.
But please, don’t forget about body odors. Before putting clean and nice-smelling clothes on your body, make sure you’re clean and showered. Wash up thoroughly or at least change your underwear if you’re running out of time. If you’re going to the restaurant directly from work, pick up some baby wipes along the way and clean your bad-smelling areas in the bathroom. Don’t exaggerate with the perfume, especially if you’re going to eat just after you meet. Remember to check your shoes, your nails and ears for dirt or gunk. Ladies care a lot about details and you should impress your date with your overall appearance.
Finally, pay close attention to your face, but start a while before your date. You should always be on a men’s anti-aging face care treatment, and the effects will be visible during dates and other social gatherings. Your face needs to look clean, fresh and enticing. You want to make her wonder how does your skin feels, if it looks this good. And when it comes down to the first goodnight kiss, then you can maximize your chances by taking care of your face skin.
If water and soap are the only things you use for cleaning your face, you’re in big trouble. Not only they don’t help you clean the face and protect the natural moisture, but it leaves the dead cells on your face, spread the grease all over it and leave your pores filled with environmental debris you collect every day.
A proper maintenance routine is able to retain the collagen and elasticity of your skin and give it that rejuvenated, fresh look. The first step of the routine would be to clean your face with a quality cleanser that fights against premature aging and removes all the dead cells from your skin. The cleanser should run all the dirt out with efficiency but most go soft on the sensitive moisture layer from the surface. What you find in drug stores is not by far the quality men’s anti-aging face care products you need. Careful what you put on your face, because it’s likely it would do more harm than good.
The best way for your skin to retain collagen and elasticity (key factors in retaining a youthful appearance) is to put your face on the proper maintenance schedule. The first step is to wash your mug with a quality masculine anti-aging face care cleaner that’s powerful enough to get rid of the junk on your face, but mild enough so that your skin isn’t stripped of moisture. Drug store cleansers and body-washes are either packed with some harmful additives or lack anti-aging active ingredients, and don’t do much for your face, even if they’re cheap. And, the truth be told, this is probably why.
The second step is all about maintenance, protection and wrinkle reduction with the help of quality men’s anti-aging face care products that help reduce the fine lines and wrinkles caused by natural elements and environmental factors. To protect your face from premature aging and other damaging elements you must keep it moisturized at all times, especially during exposure to temperature fluctuations or after shaving routine.
Finally, we can talk about protectors and especially quality men’s anti-aging face care protectors, that seal in moisture and fights against premature aging just like the other ones. Your face will look nice and fresh, but most of all will feel better and healthier. The collagen and elasticity of your skin will be properly maintained, while the damaging free radicals and grime will be removed from your pores. A quality protector doesn’t contain chemicals, but only natural ingredients such as essential oils and nutrients that help keep in moisture.
Once your face is looking good, it’s back to preparing for the first date.
Ready for Date Night
You can see the first date exactly like a job interview, because the same criteria goes for both situations. You need to look confident about yourself if you want to convince your partner you are really a catch; you need to be optimistic and in a good mood, if you want to see her happy and enjoying your company. That’s why you need to rest or preserve your energy before the actual date so take a nap or drink some coffee before showing up.
If you want to be a total gentleman, offer to come pick her up. If she doesn’t want to, given the fact that it’s your first date, comply with her terms. Be at the restaurant on time and bring something like season flowers or a small box of chocolates. Every woman appreciates a romantic gift like this. Don’t smoke before you get there, because you’ll stink like hell and you’ll get disqualified in seconds.
A heartfelt compliment is a nice way to break the ice. Tell her that she looks beautiful, but keep the comments appropriate. You barely know each other! Don’t talk about her legs or, ahem, specific parts of her body. She knows you’re going to check her out, but do it discreetly. Don’t leer or look creepy. You’d think men would know by now, but a guy I know nearly got slapped on a first date. And after he told me what he said, he deserved it!
When you get to the restaurant, either use valet parking, or remember where you parked - write
it down, or ask her to help you remember. Don’t think about “winging it” later, because if you are
going in circles in the parking lot, you’ll look clueless. Finally, open the door and pull out the chair for her - you’re being sweet, not anti-feminist!
At the Restaurant/Conversation Starters
It’s ok to suggest items on the menu, especially if you know the restaurant but she doesn’t, but don’t order for her. Coming off as somebody who is in control of himself is a mighty aphrodisiac, but being controlling is not.
No roaming eyes. Don’t check-out the waitress or the ladies at the bar. Pay attention to your date at all times and don’t answer your cell phone - keep it on silent instead. You can always check your emails and messages when your date uses the ladies room. If you pull out your mobile device at the table, not only do you risk sending the message that she’s boring you, it’s also inconsiderate.
Finding conversation topics is hard enough, alright. You need to establish some kind of common ground- latest movies, art openings, exhibitions, etc. Do some research at home, before going out and open up wide subjects, so she can take it from there.
If she wants to hear about your past dating experiences, be open and don’t get emotional. Talk about your ex-girlfriend with respect and in a casual manner, even if you ended things in a bad way. Ask her about her dating experiences and then move on to some other topic.
Speaking of emotions, make sure to keep them at bay on your first date night. Don’t start talking non-sense about your ex-girlfriends, your depressive childhood or your emotionally-unavailable parents. These are topics to discuss with a close person, one that understands you and has enough tolerance to agree with your points of view. First impressions should not include this type of info and the atmosphere should be optimistic and joyful.
At some point, the conversation can languish, but don’t worry about that. That is only a normal consequence of the fact that you are both looking to pick out the best words, both worrying not to make any fatal mistakes and to impress each other. Talk about your interests and hobbies and speak with enthusiasm about what you do. Make it sound great ,women love passionate men. You can also make subtle allusions of what you make, but I mean subtle. Talk about your future professional plans, about your career and possible promotions. This way, you’ll make her feel confident about you being a good provider.
During dinner, ask her questions about herself, about her past and future plans and look straight into her eyes as she answers. Don’t ask her simple things, so that she can answer with yes and no, think of questions that need elaborate answers. Try to talk about her passions, where does she like to spend her holidays and what are her musical preferences. Don’t talk too much about yourself and give her time to express her opinions too. Don’t interrupt her and listen carefully to what she has to say.
Oh, and watch the alcohol. Sip the wine, don’t guzzle. You should spend more time looking at it than drinking it, especially if you’re driving her home.
Body Language- Essential on a First Date
Is she interacting with you a lot? Is she touching you and leaning towards you in search for a longer touch? If she laughs a lot and seems to have a good time, these are all great proofs that she really likes you and she’s very interested in spending more time with you. If, on the other hand, she looks away in the distance and plays a lot with the objects on the table, she’s other displeased with something or she really doesn’t like you.
If she goes to the ladies room once during the evening, that’s natural; if she goes to the bathroom every ten minutes, she either has bladder problems, or she really wants to get away from you. If she spots a friend to some other table and spends half an hour talking to him, you can really kiss that second date you were already talking about goodbye.
A date is a meeting of ideas and feelings and the partners must feel relaxed and casual about their encounter. You are not supposed to strive to bring the conversation to a neutral level or to keep her entertained all night long- is she plays hard to get for a long time, maybe you can think of better ways to waste your energy on.
If some accident happen during the night, don’t start yelling at the waiter for spilling the wine or for bringing cold and overcooked steaks. Try to solve the problem in a decent and respectful way or if nothing else can be done about it, try to laugh it off and make fun of the situation. The last thing your date wants is to be embarrassed in front of the whole restaurant by your violent and uncontrolled reactions. Likewise, on the way home, if you’re driving, try to keep your calm even if some jerk just cut you off. Women like patient and self-controlled men a lot.
Finally, always pay for the date even if it didn’t work out, be a gentleman - you asked her out. Be careful with cigarettes, alcohol and coffees during the evening, because they leave a strong aftertaste, so drink water to wash it down and pop a mint, if you’re looking for a good night kiss.
Saying Your Goodbyes
If you had a great time, let her know by telling her honestly and sincerely. Thank her for her company. If you tell her you will call, you must follow-through and actually call her in a day or two. Really, it’s ok to call her. Just don’t go overboard and leave her a voicemail and three texts by the next morning.
Women actually appreciate a call in a day or two after the date. She is not going to start making engagement plans if you call her after two days, so don’t worry about that. However, the purpose of the call must be clearly stated, so don’t leave any open spaces for interpretation. Usually, in the beginning is harder to guess the other’s feelings and thoughts, so you have to act carefully and pay close attention to everything you say. Don’t send the wrong signals or you’ll scare her away. Tell her how much fun you had on the first date and see if she’s interested in repeating the experience. Don’t push her and don’t get insistent. You don’t have to call her again until you meet, leave it like that and you’ll pick up from there.
But what about the first kiss? Make sure you read my next article Hug or Kiss- Perfect Ending for a Great Date and find out more about strategies and dating tips. Usually, a first date ends with a hug or even a kiss on the cheek. If the woman is in her comfort zone and appears interested in you, she might let you kiss her after all. But never push things forward and check her body language to guess her thoughts and wishes. Resist the temptation and act responsibly, letting her know you are a perfect gentleman who knows all about self-control.
Now that you have all this information, it’s time to go on that first date and rock her world.
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